New International Signal Needed!

[KenBrackins]

A few weeks ago some of my hardcore wind chasing buddies and I drove all the way to Whale Harbor for an NUKING 15-18 day. (Well worth it) Anyway, as a long road trip warrants, I slammed several beers on the way down. Also consumed a delicious 7-eleven burrito along with some other healthy chips, slim jims etc. Whilst kiting it became very necessary for me to do a dreaded "Brown Winder". If you have never launched from that 40 sq. ft. area where there were no less than 40 kites piled on top of each other, then you may not know what its like. But believe me when I say that you can't just fly up there and land when you want. As you know the shallow and crystal clear water made it a bit uncomfortable for me to perform my brown winder. Perhaps riders thought I was in distress because my kite was parked at 12:00 or maybe I just look like a cool guy who they want to chat with, but what ever the reason other kiters were going waaaay out of there way to come up on me. Quite the distraction. Unable to complete my thundering brown winder, my kite session became a bit unenjoyable.
I travel a lot to kite and its mostly to third world islands. Needless to say there are difficulties with drinking water, food quality (including hot peppers) and I am generally drinking mass quantities of hopped beverages between kite sessions. It is usually impossible to find decent restroom facilities if any at all so the "brown winder" is generally performed a couple of times a day. Here is my proposal: The left had placed on harness with elbow curtly pointed away from the body forming a triangle (the international YIELD sign) that can be seen by fellow riders. If someone is giving the signal that means
stay the hell away!!! For crying out loud let me have a few minutes to compose myself. Any other suggestions appreciated but beware if you ride with me and you see that signal-I'm busy!

[rando1994]

As a member of that hardcore crew to the keys, I can personally vouch for the poor diet and copious beverages consumed. Ken's distress was expected given his consumption. One caveat for those intending to do the "brown winder". Please be certain of the tide and current direction prior to brown winding, lest your fellow compatriots kite through your poor diet decisions from the previous night. Just a thought.

[Kiteboarding Tampa Bay]

WOW Ken, that really stinks!
I am a relative noob at all of this brown winder stuff, so I have a few questions for the mighty king of the throne:

This might seem like a silly question to you veteran brownwinder types, but how's that works with a seat harness anyway? Dump valve?

So on these epic Brownwinders, are you going for speed, distance, or is it better to just take your time and enjoy the scenery?

I'd like to break off my first brownwinder soon and not look like a total noob- should I be going into it with my regular poo stance, or just go ahead and load and pop?

I have been told that practicing at the cable park will really help you under the kite. Is that true for brownwinders too? (Seems like a lake would get kinda 'crowded' if ya know what I mean.)


But seriously, is there someone in the area who offers supervised Brown Winders? I'm not really comfortable going on my own yet and the online tootorials are complete bullshit- NOTHING about technique, gear selection, or even how to find a good instructor.

I called this assbag over at www.kiteboardingtampabay.com and he didn't even know what a brownwinder was! (What a KOOK!)

Nature's calling-gotta run!

[KenBrackins]

Steve you have some valid questions and as I usually go out of my way to help newbies I will do my best to answer. The Brown winder is more of a freestyle activity. There is no correct or wrong way to do a BW. I personally like to stop, relax and lower the boardshorts. However on the other hand, my buddy Rob Miller has actually surfed naked which allows one to BW without having to interfere with the session whatsoever. As far as the seat harness or doing a BW with boardshorts in place-this leads to what is known as a "pudding hammock". In my opinion not comfortable nor stylish at all. For some reason, this has even been known to repel the few split tail kiters that happen to be around. As kiting in general evolves, I am sure that there will one day be a higher standard for the Brown winder than we have today, but until then just go for it. Just do what comes naturally. I am currently working on a handle pass spraying BW that will add style points and take the stigma away from the run of the mill BW. I hope this helps and good luck-you can do it!

[Kiteboarding Tampa Bay]

Thanks Ken, I hope to get to the level of you guys one day and maybe start entering some BW comps. This Rob guy sounds really hardcore- is he a Pro? I'd like to meet up sometime and let it ride with you guys- that was you could see my technique up close and give me some pointers! I can stick the landing no problem, but I'm really having trouble riding away clean. Maybe you guys could get some GoPro footy of your next big session to help me out?


I have also been scouring the forums and websites for tips to become competitive in the BW arena and have found this new product. Their website claims to be the most effective BW training tool in the business:


"Its like a Go-Joe for your bunghole, Bevis".... heh he heh, heh he heh...

I bought mine here:

www.kiteboardingtampabay.com

[Jake]

Originally Posted by rando1994

As a member of that hardcore crew to the keys, I can personally vouch for the poor diet and copious beverages consumed. Ken's distress was expected given his consumption. One caveat for those intending to do the "brown winder". Please be certain of the tide and current direction prior to brown winding, lest your fellow compatriots kite through your poor diet decisions from the previous night. Just a thought.

You also have to watch out for sea life, especially jellyfish. You definitely don't want to tangle with them. Also, consuming too many 7-11 burritos or hot pockets are especially bad. It gives new meaning to "liquid force"...