kite names

[bayflite]

Cabrhina haz battle az it's theme. conrtra, crossbow, switchblade, recon
Best iz obscure animals. Yarga, Warroo, Bullarroo, Hellfish
Slingshot uzez motor references. Fuel, Turbo Diesel, Machine
Flexi converted from weather events2 science lab stuff. Ion, Atom, Fusion
Some don't have a theme going at all.
If i was gonna start a kite company, i'd make the theme around pirates.
But i bet toby e bone and steve could come up with some funny shit to theme a kite company around.
Come2 think of it "Bone Kites" kinda haz a ring2 it.

[BigR]

He musta been litt flyin' that Crossbone!!!

I've themed the Bone Kitez around sh*t, depending on how recent in termz of design or fast/slow the kite is.

We had some production difficultiez on one model of kite, so we named it "Piece of Sh*t." It fallz apart fast. That way, when complaintz come in and a kiter tells me that a kite iz a piece of sh*t, I reply by asking why he or she feelz compelled to state the obvious.

My big kite fliez like a big turd so it is called a "Big F*ck*ng Turd," aka the BFT. Small kite is faster than sh*t so it is called a "Fast as Sh*t." My small, high performance kite that will boost you 50+ feet off of the water every jump is called a "Holy F*ck*ing Sh*t."

All my loyal riders who actually like the Bone Kitez are alwayz saying, "I think conditionz today call for me to fly a 'Piece of Sh*t.'"

Then, when my local crew ridez other kitez, they can make comparisonz, like, "hey, this (insert brand and model name here) really flies like a 'Piece of Sh*t'" and get other riderz pissed when it really was a compliment.

Bone Kitez has a bow kite that is the sh*t (if you pardon the expression) that we call a Crossbowl. We are coming out with a Hellsh*t kite that wipez out the competition. For those dayz that you have the runz, we wanted to name a kite a "Liquid Force," but that name is already taken, dammit.

[BigR]

What happens when "The Sh*t hits the Water"?..............

Then the sh*t floatz...

[sparkyman]

Boy, that's some Great Sh-t. better let me have a roll or two maybe three if super windy.

[bayflite]

e z big fella don't hurt em
but i bet steavil is gonna hit this one outta the park.

[toby wilson]

I am very happy with my kites name. It applies in all sessions and other situations in life.

If I see a hot chick on the beach while I ride by doing a down winder, I think to myself "I sure would like to thrust her!!!".

When I ride at the backside and see a geriatric follow some other old geyser down the mangrove trail, I say to myself "damn, I don't even want to think about which one is the thruster and which is the buttster".

When I am at East Beach and go to bust out huge Billy Parker style air with a board off and handle pass mixed in for good measure, then remember that I ride with grace comparable to that of a 3 legged rhinoceros and let go with my rear hand too quickly. With the realization of how f*cked I am as the kite is already below me, along comes the mad rush of shells mud and crustaceans "thrusting" into my compression shorts as I smack into the flats. (I realize later that my "huge air" was an astounding 5-10 feet off the water)

Then of course when I pack it up and take my trusty kite home to the little lady, you can be rest assured that my "Thrusters" job has only just begun...

[Stevil Kenevil]

Mr. Wilson,Mr. Bone, you can take your "Thruster" and that "Piece of Sh*t" and blow it out your *ss!!!
Seems like the Thruster is a little deflated, and lacks the solid backbone for massive "hangtime" and powered NAILeys. BTW, I gave your # to a guy at the Skyway,who was interested in test riding a flesh colored "Thruster".

I did test ride that "piece of sh*t" that Bone calls a kite. All I can think of for this review is that smell....that awful smell... The kite was a complete turd, dropping from the sky like sh*t from a goose...It hit the water like an airplane's sh*t brick, and started sinking like a whale turd... While attempting a self rescue, I overcame the stench and swam through the now muddied water to the "piece of sh*t" kite that Bone was so hyped on.So, I get to the kite and realize that the entire kite is made of toilet paper!!!Where'd those bladders come from, a bathroom vending machine in a gas station? Swimming away from the sinking "piece of sh*t", I decide its finally time to release my own line of kites.......

***PRESS RELEASE***
Stevil Kenevil Signature Series Kytes have been designed with common sense.period.The R&D Team has worked for several years on these revolutionary kytes, testing all over the world, seeking input from top pro riders, as well as the average kiter.We interviewed legendary stuntman Stevil Kenevil about his new line of kites, and he replied "Their testing revealed that people didn't really want to have to look at Flying Penises, "Thrusters", and having to worry about "Pieces of Sh*t" falling on their heads, while spending a day at the beach. They want TITS!" I overheard one beach-goer say "Sixty flying penises on this beach and not one set of tits! This sport SUCKS!" That was when I decided to design my own kites, kites with TITS!, and the rest is history..."
All 2007 Stevil Kenevil Signature series kytes have the "sweet tits" graphic and are equipped with a 5th line, which also doubles as a bikini for B.B.G.'s (Brown Bootied Girls).

B.F.B. Series- (wind range- 12-80 knots)
BFB is for "Big Fat Beeotch", the light wind weapon. She's big and slow and not too pretty, but its better than sitting this one out, while everyone else has a good time.Inexperienced riders may find themselves overpowered by the BFB,so please wear a safety leash with a quick release. Its more suitable as a practice kyte and not designed for riders under 150 lbs.
**DISCLAIMER**NIGHT RIDING ONLY! Not responsible for your friends seeing you on the "Big Fat Beeotch".

"The Snatch"- (wind range 8-30 knots)
Not to be confused with a Flying Penis, Thruster, or any other piece of sh*t hogging up your launch. The Snatch is a great all around kyte, and always pleasurable to ride. We named it the "Snatch" because of the huge ego boosting jumps that this thing generates and let me tell ya, this kyte is built to take a pounding.Everyone that tries it falls in love with it, and can't live without it.

"The Spinner"- (wind range 40-90 knots)
This little gem is the high wind dream. How many times have you been gettin worked in the waves and swells on a "Big Fat Beeotch" and wished you had a spinner to ride??? Time to step it up, player...Creating new moves has never been easier-spins, loops and rolls with ease, even in the roughest conditions. You will surely be the envy of all your friends when they see you pullin' up with this little "Spinner"! Now, dont go asking your buddy if you can try out his "Spinner", you will have to get your own... But, he might be willing to loan you his "Big Fat Beeotch" for a day or two.....

~~Stevil Kenevil Signature Series Kytes- Designed by Stuntmen, For Stuntmen...~~

Hmm... well my kites company is called "pimpz".

There's the "bling bling" which is gold foil, and the lines are chrome wire. The kite doesn't fly but who f%cking cares it doesn't need to!

There's the "whooyaa whoooop whoop" which has whistles on the tips, and it comes with a set of gold capz and and speakers. It doesn't fly either, it just whistles and the base sounds like someone beating on a paper bag. Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaah dog.

Then there's "whattup bitches!!". it has 21" rims mounted to the two-color fade bar, and the kite has a gold hood ornament of flavor-flav's face right on the leading edge. It doesn't fly either but so what, it's tight yo.

All kites come with a free harness. it has boxer shorts sewn into it about 8" inches too high, and it doesn't pull up past your theighs. it comes with a belt that doesn't buckle... you are supposed to let it dangle. You cant ride with it, hell you can't even walk with it on, but it's looks tight yo!