[Stevil Kenevil]

Mr. Wilson,Mr. Bone, you can take your "Thruster" and that "Piece of Sh*t" and blow it out your *ss!!!
Seems like the Thruster is a little deflated, and lacks the solid backbone for massive "hangtime" and powered NAILeys. BTW, I gave your # to a guy at the Skyway,who was interested in test riding a flesh colored "Thruster".

I did test ride that "piece of sh*t" that Bone calls a kite. All I can think of for this review is that smell....that awful smell... The kite was a complete turd, dropping from the sky like sh*t from a goose...It hit the water like an airplane's sh*t brick, and started sinking like a whale turd... While attempting a self rescue, I overcame the stench and swam through the now muddied water to the "piece of sh*t" kite that Bone was so hyped on.So, I get to the kite and realize that the entire kite is made of toilet paper!!!Where'd those bladders come from, a bathroom vending machine in a gas station? Swimming away from the sinking "piece of sh*t", I decide its finally time to release my own line of kites.......

***PRESS RELEASE***
Stevil Kenevil Signature Series Kytes have been designed with common sense.period.The R&D Team has worked for several years on these revolutionary kytes, testing all over the world, seeking input from top pro riders, as well as the average kiter.We interviewed legendary stuntman Stevil Kenevil about his new line of kites, and he replied "Their testing revealed that people didn't really want to have to look at Flying Penises, "Thrusters", and having to worry about "Pieces of Sh*t" falling on their heads, while spending a day at the beach. They want TITS!" I overheard one beach-goer say "Sixty flying penises on this beach and not one set of tits! This sport SUCKS!" That was when I decided to design my own kites, kites with TITS!, and the rest is history..."
All 2007 Stevil Kenevil Signature series kytes have the "sweet tits" graphic and are equipped with a 5th line, which also doubles as a bikini for B.B.G.'s (Brown Bootied Girls).

B.F.B. Series- (wind range- 12-80 knots)
BFB is for "Big Fat Beeotch", the light wind weapon. She's big and slow and not too pretty, but its better than sitting this one out, while everyone else has a good time.Inexperienced riders may find themselves overpowered by the BFB,so please wear a safety leash with a quick release. Its more suitable as a practice kyte and not designed for riders under 150 lbs.
**DISCLAIMER**NIGHT RIDING ONLY! Not responsible for your friends seeing you on the "Big Fat Beeotch".

"The Snatch"- (wind range 8-30 knots)
Not to be confused with a Flying Penis, Thruster, or any other piece of sh*t hogging up your launch. The Snatch is a great all around kyte, and always pleasurable to ride. We named it the "Snatch" because of the huge ego boosting jumps that this thing generates and let me tell ya, this kyte is built to take a pounding.Everyone that tries it falls in love with it, and can't live without it.

"The Spinner"- (wind range 40-90 knots)
This little gem is the high wind dream. How many times have you been gettin worked in the waves and swells on a "Big Fat Beeotch" and wished you had a spinner to ride??? Time to step it up, player...Creating new moves has never been easier-spins, loops and rolls with ease, even in the roughest conditions. You will surely be the envy of all your friends when they see you pullin' up with this little "Spinner"! Now, dont go asking your buddy if you can try out his "Spinner", you will have to get your own... But, he might be willing to loan you his "Big Fat Beeotch" for a day or two.....

~~Stevil Kenevil Signature Series Kytes- Designed by Stuntmen, For Stuntmen...~~